Headed to Splitsville

Headed to Splitsville: Three Times a Cheating Spouse Doesn’t Deserve a Second Chance

Infidelity is like a Pandora’s box in marriages. When you open it, all evils break loose. There are mistrust between spouses and serious damage to one partner’s self-esteem. There’s even resentment on the kids’ end. There are times when the relationship can survive even with this huge dent. But there are also instances when it’s wiser to quit fighting and step away from the marriage. Here are those times second chances aren’t worth it:

When your spouse doesn’t apologize

Cheating is a grave offense, yet interestingly a lot of people don’t feel sorry for it. They wouldn’t acknowledge the wrong they have done. They can’t promise not to do it again, either. Why does this happen? Well, some sincerely believe that it is their partner who makes them do it. They want intimacy and romance, but their spouse wouldn’t want to touch them in bed. They crave for attention and affection, but their spouse wouldn’t even look them in the eye when leaving for work. They seek to fill up what is lacking somewhere else, unfortunately outside the marriage.

But one partner’s shortcomings aren’t a justified excuse for infidelity. Nothing is. If your spouse blames you for the wrong they have done and shows no remorse, walk away from them. Consult an experienced divorce lawyer. Everett-based practitioners say that even if you live in a no-fault state, your partner’s infidelity will have an impact on property settlement and child custody to a certain extent.

When cheating happens early in the marriage

Adultery among newlyweds happens. In fact, according to one study, it’s common. Researchers believe that it’s influenced by the “anything goes” culture, wherein the bad conduct of politicians and celebrities is slowly becoming the norm. They also add that this strange perspective is common among men — of being unfaithful at the time when partners are least likely to be suspicious. The first years of your marriage are supposed to be a period of profound intimacy and discovery of each other.

If your spouse is busy with something or, more accurately, someone else during this time, it’s hard to build a strong foundation that will weather the challenges in the years to come. Yes, it does look shameful to file for divorce just a year or two in your marriage, but if you feel like it won’t survive, why stay longer? You probably have a shot at a more amicable breakup early on than later, with no child custody to complicate matters.

When the infidelity has lasted for years

While there are cases of infidelity that are just a one-time thing, there are some that drag on for months, even years. With the former, it’s fair to say that it has probably just been a release of strong urges. But with the latter, there’s obviously a solid relationship formed. It can be assumed that it’s not just a physical relationship. There’s probably an intense, enduring emotional intimacy. The other person may even look more like a husband or wife than you.

It’s better to end things with your spouse and let them go if this is your situation. Consult your divorce attorney about the legal concept called dissipation of assets. In most cases of infidelity lasting for years, marital assets are used to pursue and maintain such a relationship. Courts, therefore, are more likely to award damages to the affected spouse.

There are times when the marriage is worth fighting for despite a partner’s infidelity. But if you find yourself in these situations, it’s better to fight for your own dignity and sanity. Let go if there’s nothing else to hold on to.

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